Moving On

In my last two posts, I mentioned on several occasions that I’ve been experiencing a creative roadblock so I decided to take a break from shooting this week and regroup. Luckily for myself, my best friend from home came to visit the city and we got to meet up. 

I’ve known Keya since I was born as our parents were close family friends. She’s my absolute best friend in the world. I know I’m gushing, but her and I are thicker than thieves. She’s the kind of friend that you don’t see often but you know is always there rooting for you. Since we grew up together, we know just about everything there is to know about each other which helps immensely when one of us is seeking advice. Every time we meet it’s as if no time has past, we’re the kind of friends that can spend years apart and come back talking about things as if nothing has changed. I value this friendship more than any other, because it’s not everyday that you meet someone like that. 

We met at Waterfront Station on Sunday night for our go-to meal, which is sushi. Whenever we grab good together, we always go for a hefty portion size and force each other to eat until we’re both sick. When the food arrives, we spend very little time talking at the table. However, immediately after the bills have been paid, we’re generally both experiencing excruciating stomach pain so we walk off the pain with a lovely chat. Normally we’d head straight for the nearest beach back at home, but tonight we went to my favourite little cafe, Breka. They’re open 24 hours a day and serve nearly every dessert one could possibly crave which was a major red flag for the two of us. As we were still processing our dinner, we sat down and ordered a couple of hot drinks.

Since Keya and I don’t live close to each other anymore, whenever I see her I only ever get a little slice of time with her. To make the most of this, I make sure to lay out all my first-world life problems to get the most out of our chats. 

In the last year, I’ve been questioning whether I want to extend my time here at SFU. I was projected to finish in four years, and I’ve taken up to six courses in some semesters to do so. In my first year, I came to SFU with a horrible attitude. Like many fresh high school graduates, I was faced with three options. The first being, jumping head first into university, the second was taking a gap year and considering what I’d like to build my future in and lastly, the third option was to stay on the island and work a full-time job until I decided to go to post-secondary. Although I was extremely unsure of what the next step in my education held for me, I decided to jump head first. The way I saw it was, the sooner I went to school, the faster I could live my life and that’s been my mentality up until recently.

Despite all the late nights, the three hour lectures and the flood of papers, attending SFU has been the best decision I’ve ever made. I’ve learnt far more about myself living in Vancouver than I ever would have if I stayed on the Island. Now that I’m in my second to last year here, I’ve recently begun questioning my rush to leave. When I was 18, I knew that there was no way I’d still be roaming the concrete halls by the time I was 22. I was in a rush, and only now do I ask myself- what’s the rush? I love taking the 95 B-line up the mountain as the sun sets through the trees as the rays cast blinding shadows on my face, or hiking up the eight floors of the Barbara Rae tower (because the elevator is always broken) to watch as all the city lights twinkle below us. A part of me never wants to leave. I’ve lived on the mountain going on three years now, and believe that I don’t want to leave because SFU reminds me much of a small town in comparison to what lies below. I’ve gotten used to the atmosphere around here, so much so that it’s become a crutch. 

As I relayed this information to Keya, she stopped me and made an exceptional point- if I’m projected to finish in four years, then why finish in five? I will have already accumulated over 120 credits, and I’ve decided against getting another minor. So it was decided that night at Breka, I need to move on with my life. 

I’ve spent nearly three years fighting with myself about building a career in the creative industry and finishing my education. Although I’ve wanted to put my creative life first, I would never put anything in front of my education. I’ve rushed my schooling in order to jump to my creative life. However, I’ve struggled immensely as I couldn’t just deny myself from creative projects for four years. So I’ve been trying to balance the two, and now I’ve found that I don’t want to leave school because I’m scared to jump head first into the creative industry. I’ve been so concerned with building creative projects alongside finishing my degree, that I have been spreading myself too thin. I think I’ve committed myself so heavily to my education because I feel as if it’s the only thing I’ve ever been able to control. Without attending class everyday, my life feels unbalanced. I’ve never experienced a September without a “back to school” and that scares me. But after I accept my degree it’ll be around the time to jump head first again and take a chance on myself in the creative industry.

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  1. Pingback: PEER REVIEW #3: FROM SMALL TOWN TO UPTOWN – KROWMEAT DOESART.

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